DP Chance
by AkumaStrife
Summary: A Drabble Series in which anything and everything can and might happen. All characters and pairings. It's like your very own Dissidia kink meme/ CLOSED FOR NOW
1. Mayhem

**A/N: So this the first installment of a drabblish series for Dissidia. It's mostly to vent all my crackier thoughts =) So if you've ever had a crazy/sexy/ridiculous idea for Dissidia, but never got around to it: Lay it on me! Think of "DP Chance" as your personal kink meme.**

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Mine

"Hey Cloud! Can I hold your sword?" Tidus asked excitedly. A good portion of the 'Heroes of Light' froze, turning to look at him oddly.

Bartz and Zidane snickered, the latter commenting lowly, "I don't think you could handle Cloud's 'sword'."

Cloud merely kept walking, choosing to ignore the sunny boy in favor of addressing such a ridiculous question, no matter the connotation.

And as Squall passed the puzzled blitzball star, he glared and shoved him into the nearest cliff side, "I don't share."

**Dirty**

The 'Heroes of Light', minus one, all sat quietly in their boxers. Simply waiting; not much they really could do.

"I _knew_ we should have taken those random outfits we found a while back!" Tidus exclaimed. Cloud nodded, having liked the sweater-like trench coat he'd come across.

"No way!" Bartz argued, crossing his arms defiantly, "Those clothes were fruity and made me look gay."

"Hey guys, guys!" Zidane suddenly spoke up, looking very much like he was in the middle of a lifesaving epiphany. The rest watched him expectantly.

"Terra is off washing our clothes…which means she's washing her own as well…" he grinned lasciviously and concluded, "Which means she's naked!"

All of a sudden Zidane's face was smashed into the ground before him, the Warrior of Light looking innocently in the other direction. "You shouldn't think of her in such a manner," he admonished firmly.

But the damage was already done, and Zidane wasn't the only one thinking anymore.

**Uptight**

"You know, you're pretty uptight and serious for a kid," Bartz observed.

"Yeah, you should lighten up," Zidane grinned, nudging the Onion Knight.

The boy in question scowled, "I am _not_ a kid! And it's not my fault if the situation calls for me to be serious. It's not easy being a genius, then again…you wouldn't know."

The older boys gaped at how rude this 'child' really was. Then Zidane smirked at the other, as if to say, '_Punishment?'_ And Bartz nodded along, even though he had no idea what the other was referring to. Zidane smiled with faux sweetness, dragging a finger down the Onion Knight's neck, "Not a child you say? Well, that sure does change some things, doesn't it Bartz?" The genome knocked the youngest warrior's hat off so as to run his fingers through the blonde hair, "We may not be as smart…" he breathed into his ear, noting the shiver that resulted and chuckling at the curiousity glowing in his eyes, "but we have a few things that we could teach even you."

"Really?" he asked warily.

"We do?" Bartz asked, looking almost as confused.

"Oh yes," Zidane winked, pulling him down some unused trail, a route that the youngest noted was in the opposite direction from camp. After a moment clarity shone in Bartz's puzzle expression -as he finally understood what was going on- and hurried after Zidane and his prey.

**Of Opportunities and Questions **

"Would you stop that?" Bartz snapped, swatting Zidane's tail away irritably. Those around the meager fire turned to check on the two rowdiest of the party.

"Sorry, it's got a mind of its own." Zidane mumbled offhandedly. The mimic rolled his eyes and, like the rest, went back to eating. Only a full minute must have passed before Bartz spoke again,

"I told you to stop hitting me!" Bartz snapped.

Turning in the direction of the noise again found a nervous looking Zidane, his tail held tightly in his friend's grasp. Zidane nodded furiously as he fidgeted in his seat, his extension twitching in its confinement. The mimic sighed and lessened his grip. Zidane yanked his tail free, but not without having to choke back a surprised moan as he did so, his cheeks flaring a brilliant shade of scarlet. The group fell silent and Bartz slowly grew a wicked grin, "Excuse me? What was that?"

"Leave me alone." Zidane muttered.

Bartz chuckled and quickly grasped the furry appendage again, ever so slowly moving his hand up the length. Zidane bit his lip sharply in a failed attempt to keep silent. Firion choked slightly on his potion.

"That's it!" the thief snapped, growling as he pounced on the boy next to him, sending them both tumbling to the canyon ground behind them. "Don't touch my tail!" and before the shocked mimic could react, Zidane had his wrists pinned to the floor, the previously abused tail sliding sensually up the boy's thigh.

Squall didn't even look up as he flatly stated "No foreplay at the fire." Cloud's lips twitched slightly in some sort of a smirk from his seat next to him. The two on the ground froze, having forgotten that they had an audience.

"Hey Zidane…" Tidus began, watching curiously as the tail in question kept sliding teasingly up Bartz thigh, higher and higher, "Have you ever used your tail for s—"

"All right, I think we should all be getting some sleep! Busy day tomorrow and all that." Firion interrupted, his cheeks' complexion matching that of his precious rose.

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**P.S. Don't even lie...we've all wondered about that last one**


	2. WoLCosmos

**xrowa-chanx** requested 'WoL being emotional' and **Princess Tamia** asked for some 'WoL/Cosmos'; so here you both go, thanks for being patient =)

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**The Hero's Plight**

"Do not fear Cosmos, I will take care of everything," he promises, eyes lowered in respected and a fist pressing to the heart that belonged solely to the goddess. He can _feel_ the curve of her lips, and the warmth coupled with desperation in her gaze.

"Thank you, I know you will not fail me." Her voice is lovely like music, like a controlled urgency and sadness; and it always sweeps through him, stirring feelings he cannot put names to. He looks up to confirm this, but cannot speak in the wake of her beauty and power. He settles for a nod and turns with flourish to complete any and all tasks she has for him.

For him alone, as her champion, he thinks with something like pride.

The Warrior of Light sets off, determined to never fail his goddess. She is his everything. His feelings of adoration and borderline dependency swell within him, threating to consume him; but he holds it at bay valiantly. He cannot afford anything to defeat him or stay his blade. For although he is always close with the light, he has not yet found a way in which to be close with _her_.


	3. GolbezCecil

**KefuTina** and **Princess Tamia** wanted some Cecil/Golbez, (and some helmet action) so I shall deliver! Thanks for being patient!

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**Bonds**

One looks at the other; the youngest beseeching the elder and Cecil wonders if Golbez is using the cover of his helmet to hide a wandering gaze.

"Please Golbez, take it off."

"No Cecil."

The Paladin of Light silently pleads with his brother, his gaze both pitying and hopeful. He was glad Golbez was brought to this world with him, glad to have someone so dear. But Golbez continues to evade him, to leave cryptic messages and disappear into the unknown.

"Please…"

Golbez contemplates leaving; simply turning away. But deep down he knows he cannot, deep down he still harbors affection for the boy who has become a man right under his nose. And so he grunts his grudging acceptance, looking around to make sure no one else is present as he bends forward to make it easier on Cecil's lacking reach.

Cecil smiles in gratitude and relief, believing this is yet hope to save him, and steps forward. He reaches up to slowly remove the helmet; his smile pulling widder and more sincere.

"Ah, there is my brother. I was starting to wonder if he had left me." He soaks in his brother's image, trying to engrain it into his mind as he cradles the helmet tightly. "Please come with us, we need you. I need you." Cecil admits, begging his brother with that pure look in his eyes that gets Golbez every time. But this time is different; perhaps it is the darkness that has touched him, or the fragmented memories. Maybe it is for Cecil's protection and growth. Whatever the reason he shakes his head reproachfully. He reaches for his helmet, but for a moment Cecil grips it like an indignant child trying to keep a loved one from leaving. He is not a child though, so after a tense moment he loosens his hold and offers it like something revered, like something that should be cherished. Golbez wonders where this 'hero worship' came from; and also scoffs at the completely inappropriate phrasing.

Golbez turns without his customary advice, disappearing into thin air, away from his baby brother, and reappears next to some body of water. The world shifts and changes too much for anything to be concrete –its inhabitants included. Against his better judgment he gazes into the liquid surface that is still like glass, and frowns. He pushes the helmet back on his head to hide the face that looks so much like Cecil's, to hide the face that looks like the baby brother he betrayed.


	4. ZidaneKuja

**A/N: Some Zidane/Kuja action (this is the last you get Princess Tamia! Stop tempting me with your prompts!), with the prompt being "genderbend" …who do you think I'm gonna genderbend? XD**

**God, this prompt should have been illegal. I don't know how this spun so out of control.**

**AU**

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"I can't believe your dad actually set this up for us!"

"My dad's an ass! He _knows_ I have a girlfriend!"

Bartz grinned uneasily, trying his best to keep his two friends from fighting any more. "C'mon now guys, let's just try to enjoy the generous gift Mr. Jecht gave us. It is your eighteenth birthday after all."

Tidus scowled at him. "Yeah, but I don't want to go to a strip club!"

"Who cares, we're going." Zidane cackled and bounded on ahead, flitting from streetlamp to streetlamp as they continued down the dark road. Soon enough –too soon for Tidus and not soon enough for Zidane- the inconspicuous building loomed from a side road, a classy sign lit up brightly.

"'Final Fantasies'! Man, I've been waiting to get into this place since I was a freshman!" Zidane said excitedly. Tidus groaned, but didn't protest any further as the other two pushed him towards the door. The man watching the entrance grinned broadly upon recognizing Tidus.

"Ah, you must be Jecht's boy. Word has it he sent you over for a birthday." Before Tidus could say anything bad about his father, which was a given, Zidane and Bartz clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Yep, he sure is."

The bouncer laughed heartily. "Go on in then, your father has given us explicit instruction that 'anything goes' tonight, so don't hesitate if someone strikes your fancy." He ushered them in and, despite Tidus' disgust, they couldn't help but be overwhelmed by the club. Sure it was a little sleazy by nature, but the tables and various stages were top quality and the few lights gave it an artistic feel rather than a shady one.

"Damn," Zidane whistled, a hungry grin stretching his face as his eyes followed all female movement. Tidus was pointedly trying _not_ to look directly at anything. The club wasn't too full; a handful of privileged, college boys scattered about and a few clean-cut business men here and there. The three made their way to a table near one of the main stages, sinking into the plush chairs with anticipation. It was only a moment or two before a girl sauntered over, a tray balanced against one cocked hip. Her hair shone almost violet in the light and was dressed in a minimal version of a pirate wench.

"Hello _Gentlemen_," she purred, leaning across the table to place drinks in front of them and, catching sight of Bartz, she sent him a sultry wink. "I go by Faris 'round here, call if you..._need anything_." She spun on her toe and left them with their drinks. Zidane nudged Bartz with a wide grin, who tried to suppress a grin of his own. He may not have as much experience with this kind of thing like Zidane, but he was finding it all pretty nice anyways.

"I have a beautiful girlfriend, who is wonderful and I love her more than anything," Tidus whispered to himself over and over under his breath.

Zidane laughed at his valiant -and very feeble- attempts, clapping him on the shoulder as they watched a stick-thin girl with a head full of blonde dreads sway to the sensual music on one of the stages. They must have come in on the tail end of her performance, as soon her performance was over, having shed more than half her articles of clothing. The lights congregated onto the central stage and a new song started up, this one with deeper bass and rolling beats. The blonde from the stage passed by their table and she grinned widely once she noticed them. She leaned over Tidus' chair and raked a hand through his hair, pulling his head back to look up at her.

"Hey there birthday boy," she giggled, taking a playful snap at his ear. "You're a lucky one, they're bringing out our star early, just for your special day."

Tidus could only nod jerkily and try to give a smile, which simply ended up looking scared. She giggled again and left for some area behind stage. It was then that the main attraction stepped out onto the stage. She was drop dead gorgeous and oozed sexual confidence without having to change her serious expression. She strutted out to the end of the raised walkway, her spiked boots reaching up her lean legs almost to her thong, and the open, cropped jacket just barely covering her chest and highlighting the hourglass figure. She even had a feather tied into her long silver hair. Despite the fact that she wrapped herself around a pole and was undoubtedly the poster girl for strippers, she had a regal air and carried herself coolly.

"Holy shit…" Zidane was positive he'd never seen anyone like her before. It was obvious that she was older than him, but he honestly didn't care, not as she locked eyes with him and slid down the pole tortuously slow. She came back up and swayed her hips, tossing her head. None of the girls he'd ever dated compared to this woman, this exotic being. Zidane almost couldn't breathe as she unwound herself and sashayed to the edge of the stage, easily stepping off and onto their table, continuing her seductive dance routine.

"Tidus," Zidane whispered, his eyes never leaving the woman who had yet to look away from him either, as a sultry smile pulled at her plump lips. "Since you, y'know, have a girl and all that, could I have your…"

"Yes, take it, use my father's tab, I don't care," Tidus answered in a flustered rush, standing to pull his coat on and leave the club as quickly as he could before he did anything he regretted. Bartz suddenly felt very alone as Zidane only had eyes for this mysterious dancer and would undoubtedly be spending the 'post show' time with her. He really wasn't looking forward to walking home in the dark by himself; nothing good happened after midnight.

Unless you were Zidane, of course.

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**Don't kill me, I couldn't help but think this was the way Kuja would live if he were a woman (we all know he'd use that knockout figure of his for all it was worth and to get tons of attention XD)**


	5. WoLSquall

**A/N: This is for you KefuTina (and everyone else who's discovered the wonderfulness of this pairing).**

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They were grateful for the rare moment of peace, for the moment to catch their breath and not worry about the endless waves of manikins. Squall didn't really like traveling with others, especially not this self-important hero figurehead; but lately he had found that traveling alone was too dangerous, not necessarily for himself, but to be there when the others needed him -which they always did.

"What is that?" the Warrior of Light asked, his indifferent expression cracking ever-so-slightly. Squall was taken off guard by the question, unused to him saying anything that didn't have to do with the light, Cosmos, or their current struggle. He frowned and looked to where the Warrior was looking. He pulled the item out of his back pocket and held it up.

"This nasty feather?"

"Yes, how did it come into your possession?"

Squall didn't answer at first, as he looked between the feather and the other hero. "Bartz gave it to me, not that it matters to you—"

"Why would he give it to you? It has obvious value." The Warrior of Light narrowed his eyes a fraction at the feather; it was a very powerful magical item, there was no doubt of that.

"How should I know? It's not like I asked for it. I told him I didn't want it, but you can imagine how little that would do to stop him." The Warrior of Light watched Squall as spoke, noticing how even though his words were harsh his gaze softened at the feather. He is their leader, he knows everything that goes on; he knew how Bartz was careless and got himself kidnapped, and he knew how once Squall –usually the angry lion who cares for no one- learned of this, went racing off with the little monkey to save him.

But the Warrior of Light wasn't jealous, oh no. Who said anything about jealousy? Not him, that's for sure. He definitely didn't care, he had more important things to worry about…even if he couldn't remember what those things were just then.

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**Finals are killing me _ But only one more week left! So thank you, you wonderful readers, for your continued patience with me. **

**Tidus/Terra lovin' for KingWaspinator next time!**


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